Could That Self-Absorbed Person You Know Simply Be an Egotistical Jerk?

The term “narcissistic” is ubiquitous these days, and people seem to throw it around much too easily. But what does it mean—to be a narcissist? There is so much more to the condition of narcissism than being an egotistical jackass. To distinguish who can truly be referred to as a narcissist versus simply being absorbed in oneself in a more ordinary sense, we will delve into the intricacies of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) throughout this blog.

Defining Narcissism

Narcissism, or narcissistic personality disorder, is a diagnosable personality disorder where one has patterns of grandiosity, lack of empathy, and a constant need for admiration. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, an individual with NPD must have at least five of the following traits:

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A grandiose sense of self-importance; for example, he expects recognition of successes not real or deserved.
Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love, believing that one is special and can relate only to, or be understood by, others who are as special

A need for excessive admiration

A sense of entitlement, expectation of special favorable treatment, automatic complying with their expectations
Exploiting others to achieve an end

Lack of empathy, inability to recognize and identify with others’ feelings.

They are frequently envious of others or believe that others show envy towards them.

They express themselves in an arrogant or haughty way with regards to their behavior or relationships with others
There are two subtypes of NPD: “grandiose” and “vulnerable.” In the case of grandiose NPD, overt grandiosity, aggression, a lack of empathy, and exploitation of others manifest. The vulnerable type is tricky to identify because hypersensitivity to criticism and being on defense are major components in it.

NPD is one of the “Cluster B” personality disorders, which are characterized by impulsive and emotional behavior. As with most personality disorders, the condition often occurs simultaneously with other personality disorders and other mental illnesses, which confounds diagnosis and therapy. However, even accounting for that, NPD happens to be rather common: it’s estimated to affect 5% to 15% of the population, with a higher prevalence in those who are being treated in inpatient psychiatric settings.

The intensity of aggression is a measure of the degree of NPD. Higher level of aggression makes it a severe disorder. Aggression characterizes NPD and is accompanied by decreased distress tolerance and a lack of ability in managing control over feelings.

Narcissism vs. Self-Absorbed Behavior
How can one differentiate between a true narcissist and the person who is just plain unpleasant and self-absorbed? Here are some telltale signs:

First, a true narcissist will have at least five of the nine characteristics previously mentioned. Unless this minimum number is met in the patient, a person cannot be clinically diagnosed with NPD. A person manifesting only one or a few of these qualities may be referred to as “narcissistic” in informal conversation but is not medically a narcissist.

The second difference has to do with choice. Most of us have choices about being good or bad, selfless or selfish, nice or rotten. An actual narcissist does not. Their disorder simply doesn’t let them act or think outside the rubric of their inflated, unrealistic inner life. It’s not that a person afflicted with anxiety can choose not to feel anxious; neither can a narcissist choose not to be at bottom narcissistic. But as in anxiety, NPD can be treated effectively with therapy.

Dealing with Narcissists and Self-Absorbed People
A narcissist should be treated differently from one who is merely self-centered. While handling a narcissist, it must be kept in mind that it is not about you. You do anything or say anything, they will act narcissistically anyway. It’s important not to take it personally.

On the other hand, if he is not a real narcissist but something else that acted really badly, then you might be able to explore what provoked him. It may also be worth confronting such a person since he will be able to realize and react to your feedback. On the other hand, a narcissist is hypersensitive to perceived criticism, and approaching them with concerns is likely to backfire.

If you have to deal with a narcissist at work, it is good to discuss their behavior with colleagues in order to build interpersonal support. On the level of comprehension of narcissistic behavioral functioning, understanding collectively can make it easier to handle its effects. In terms of personal life, you may want to consider whether or not keeping a relationship with a narcissist is worth your mental toll when they are not seeking treatment.

Treatments for Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Of all the available treatments, psychotherapy or talk therapy seems to be the best course of treatment for the successful management of NPD. This necessitates a commitment to change on the part of the person with NPD, in regard to how they perceive themselves and their relationship with the world. This can be very challenging because most people with NPD do not believe that there is anything wrong with their behavior.

Through therapy, people afflicted with NPD can learn to:

Emotional/pps and tendencies, competitiveness, dislike of others and themselves.
Be able to understand and deal with them to improve relationships with other people and thus improve work and personal relationships

More realistic view of their actual strengths and thus be better able to cope with criticism and failure
Ability to set more realistic goals Problems related to self-esteem.

Therapy must, therefore, make the person with NPD realize his true nature and behave in ways opposite to his nature. While there is no known medication approved to treat NPD, medications like anti-depressants do help treat other disorders that might occur alongside NPD, such as depression and anxiety.

Conclusion

Despite it being estimated that narcissistic personality disorder affects a significant percentage of the population, very few people understand what “narcissism” actually means. Knowing the line between a real narcissist and just an unpleasant person can help people deal more effectively with someone with NPD. Greater awareness and sensitivity may also contribute to erasing some of the stigma that attaches to personality disorders, which are poorly understood in general. Be that as it may, communication skills are valuable for both—in fact, helping one’s interaction with others in general.