My partner and I have spent the last four years together reining in the unknowns of pandemic lockdown in a studio apartment and making a host of other big life changes. For all those tribulations, we’re proud and sure in our relationship, and excited to start a life—and marriage—together. At times, though, like so many couples, we get mired in unhelpful ways of communicating. We both want to live our lives together, but not stuck in these infinite time-loops. Hence, we came to an agreement that premarital counseling would be worthwhile in the tweaking of our relationship before we jump into marriage.
It became hard to find the time to look for a therapist with whom we both felt comfortable, then had to find the same time slot in both of our schedules, and finally, afford it for both of us—considering we both run our own businesses and often have conflicting schedules. Enter ours, an online couples counseling platform geared to offer premarital counseling that fits into our busy and often irregular lives. Ours happens to be in a “beta” phase, moving from self-guided modules called “Love ware” to live therapy sessions—a change that appealed to us. We decided to give it a try.
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Neither of us had much experience with couples counseling. I’d never been, and my partner had gone only a few times in a previous relationship. So we showed up a little nervous, but hopeful, based on the data. Of course, there’s not a ton of research on the effectiveness of premarital counseling.
But some studies suggest it can be truly transformative. One study showed that couples who did premarital counseling were more satisfied in marriage than more than 80% of couples who didn’t. Another study showed a 31% lower divorce rate of couples that had premarital counseling.
After working through Ours, my partner and I had a deeper understanding about why these statistics may be true. Here’s a look at how just a few sessions helped us chart a healthier course for our future together.
What Is Ours?
Ours is relationship therapy exclusively for all phases of couples: those who are unmarried, considering marriage, engaged, or already married. Their literature pitches their service as being for “busy discerning couples looking for experienced world-class couples therapists.” Given that I am in my early 30s, thus squarely in their target window, I can imagine feeling a bit targeted.
Ours pairs traditional talk therapy with interactive online learning activities. When it launched, Ours offered something called “Loveware,” a self-guided platform with multiple learning modules and activities for couples, supplemented by optional video sessions with a therapist. By the time we tried it, in late 2023, Loveware had been phased out in favor of traditional couples counseling. When we tried it, in late 2023, Ours was still in beta and only offered virtual therapy to a small number of couples.
It’s unclear from the website how many therapists work with Ours. Initially, it appeared that therapists were referred to as “guides” supporting the Loveware. A recent experience described a shift toward more traditional roles in counseling.
Session Features
Ours offers 60-minute video sessions available a la carte, in packs of four, or through a subscription of four sessions per month at a reduced price.
Cost of Ours
Our session pricing varies across three unique plans as follows:
$200 per session if taken à la carte
$180 per session for a package of four sessions totaling $720
$150 per session for a subscription (four sessions, $600/month)
Their first session is available at a 할인RX price of $50. There’s no additional charge for switching therapists. While the website doesn’t specify if sessions expire after the month they were purchased, we had no problem rescheduling and extending our four-session package.
Ours doesn’t take insurance—which seems pretty common for couples therapy. Pricing information isn’t readily available unless you create an account and verify your email. Not having pricing transparency frustrated me a bit and did a little to sow distrust at first. That said, the pricing seemed reasonable and seemed to fit our budget.
Signing Up for Ours
Their website is slick and minimalist as you can imagine, decked out in millennial pink and warm minimalism to sort of tickle people like us in the right ways. Backed with a chatty, somewhat hip tone, it did quite a good job at working on me. When I came around, the site said it was in beta, accepting a small number of couples for therapy.
While there were pictures of the founders and the backers, I could not find any therapist bios or details about how many therapists they have. I would have preferred more information related directly to the therapists, as that is what somebody would actually be expecting for therapy.
The process was quite easy and personable. I started off taking a little quiz about me, us, and what we were looking for within therapy. This identified the area as pre-marital counseling, and after choosing the package that offered four sessions, it showed there were no therapists available at this time. A customer service representative hurdled back an email saying the site was being redone and to check back later.
To their credit, Ours actually reached out to us early in August, sending a supplemental questionnaire about ourselves, our relationship, and therapist preferences. A few days later, we received therapist matches via email in a nostalgic slideshow format. Both of the therapists introduced themselves in very relatable ways. Both were men, but we went with the older therapist who seemed more our “vibe.”
After selecting our therapist and appointment time, our therapist emailing us to introduce himself made the process very personable. While there was some sort of tedious email tagging to connect with my partner and get the Zoom link, this felt very personal.
Therapy Sessions with Ours
Our first appointment took place while my partner and I were in different locations. Confirmed within us, the flexibility of being able to have sessions from separate locations reassured us that Ours was a good choice. Therapy sessions are held over HIPAA-compliant Zoom; phone sessions can be held if needed.
Our therapist’s relaxed yet engaged demeanor quickly put us at ease. He asked for some background information regarding family structures and what we were working on at the time to get a feel for what we thought we might be facing in terms of concerns around marriage. The warm approach he set the tone for was very positive.
Except for this initial joint session, we both had an individual session with the therapist. Where the problems really broke out, however, was in this step. Our reminder emails, within which the secure Zoom links were to be placed, caused some confusion and created a lot of email exchanges. In the end, both solo sessions were conducted over the phone.
Email Communications and Online Dashboard
Although the customer service was responsive, technical issues were resolved only after a barrage of emails and calls. Apart from being frustrating, this inefficiency consumed much time. Ours also has an online dashboard for secure messaging to occur, but we didn’t use it much due to the illumination of email problems.
Phone Sessions
Despite the technical problems, our therapist dug in and accommodated us so we still had full sessions. He dug into our backgrounds, found some patterns, and reassured us that our issues could be managed if we were patient. My partner and I did enjoy his manner and did find the sessions informative.
The last joint session was a bit cathartic, with technical difficulties. Our therapist has been very good at helping us communicate well in the sessions and leaving us feeling more positive.
Self-Guided “Loveware” and Future Content
Even though Ours is getting rid of Loveware, we could still access it upon request. Loveware had modules on its mindful communication and other techniques, which were some nice reminders and at least a few ‘aha’ moments.
Currently, digital tools that Ours offers include “Rose Bud Thorns” reflections, “Card Decks” for hard conversations, relationship-themed blog posts, and interviews.
Switching Therapists
Ours allows switching of therapists without extra fees, making this offer proactive in a manner that seemed accommodating but slightly undermining.
Pros and Cons
Pros:
Responsive customer service
Pleasant website and interface
Licensed therapists
Personalized approach
Cons:
Pricing information needs an account
Occasional technological issues
Phasing out self-guided software
Final Thoughts
Although there were one or two technical hang-ups, my partner and I were very satisfied with our premarital counseling through Ours. Our therapist really made this process very inviting and pretty productive, helping us leave with a hopeful feeling for our future together. While we haven’t booked more sessions yet, we would like to continue with our Ours therapist.
Though ours offers valuable premarital counseling, it may not be ideal for couples who have deep-seated issues. With the continuous improvements done, we just hope for more success in the future.
Methodology
Online Therapy Programs: We surveyed 55 companies and 100 users of each, viewing their website usability, the usability of the sign-up processes, therapist qualifications, types of therapy, service quality, communication options, session length, subscription offerings, privacy protections, the cost and value, insurance acceptance, therapist switching ease, user satisfaction, and recommendation likelihood. Also, we signed up for the services and consulted experts to assess quality for care suitability.
- Carlson, R. G., Daire, A. P., Munyon, M. D., & Young, M. E. (2012). A Comparison of Cohabiting and Noncohabiting Couples Who Participated in Premarital Counseling Using the PREPARE Model. The Family Journal, 20(2), 123-130.
- Stanley, S. M. (2001). Making a Case for Premarital Education. Family Relations, 50(3), 272–280.
- Marriage and family therapists. Data USA. (n.d.).